Wanda Means

One of the first things anyone learns about me is that I have a big mouth . . . and I’m not afraid to use it. I will talk about anything that others are uncomfortable talking about because I am brash, honest, and real. I’m also a mother, coach, athlete, blogger, volunteer, adventurer, ex-wife, successful real estate developer, a decent cook, and exhausted most of the time. The final thing to learn about me is that I am a true survivor of sexual molestation as a child and developed according to what I like to call “a Tri-Fecta of F*ckedupness”: childhood sexual molestation, the betrayal of my mother, and the rejection of my father. These travesties culminated in my most impressionable years and have continued to impact the most horrible decisions I’ve made as a grown woman.

 

Like many women, I am also trying to navigate the divorce waters, keep further dysfunctional relationships at bay, and keep my sanity as a single mother with four kids. So, I decided to start writing a blog and opening up about all of my issues. Not only has writing helped me to vent and get some awesome advice, but it has also helped a lot of my friends, and now, my avid listeners. We talk about everything, but for me the process has been about learning to love myself—one hell of a monumental task, especially after 45 years of sabotaging myself. I have come to understand that my incessant need to be loved and accepted has always been the driving force of my poorly chosen actions and reactions.  Even after the affairs, the divorce, the sexual promiscuity, the prescription pain pills, far too much alcohol, and the quasi-attempt at rehab, I managed to beat the odds that were stacked against me. I not only survive, but thrive, in this thing we call life.

Through all of the pain, I have managed to create a successful business with my husband, (now my ex-husband), raise four healthy, empathetic children and seek therapy in an attempt to balance my emotions. That is also why I created a blog, www.jesusdivorceandoverforty.com.  It was an attempt to laugh a lot at my crazy antics, but grew organically over the past two years while the topics grew to be more blunt. I talked about my adventures in and out of the bedroom, about taking on ice-hockey at the age of 33 (and eventually winning the USA Hockey’s National Championship), and about fulfilling a lifelong dream of playing tackle football. I’ve also opened up blunt conversations about pedophila, how to talk to your own teenagers about having healthy sex, and so much more.

 

I don’t want childhood sexual abuse to be an uncomfortable subject any longer and I know it makes people very uncomfortable. Can you imagine how the child, who is forced to do unthinkable acts, feels? I sure as hell do!!! I’m not afraid to talk about it, but I am afraid of what happens if I don’t. I want it to be everyday conversation and to let this taboo subject out of the closet. That is why they call me “One Blunt Woman.”

 

You're going to learn a lot about me. Some conversation will make you laugh until you double over and some will make you really uncomfortable. For you, I create an open and safe portal to talk about whatever you want and own your story, just like I do. We'll talk about how NOT to repeat the mistakes over and over again. How to help your kids open up and your friends. Above all, we’ll talk about striving to be better people.

 

Whatever you do, make a difference. OH and sign up below for my updates . . . they are sure to keep you entertained at all times.

@2018 Wanda Means  All Rights Reserved

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