Financial Rape from a Trusted Friend

September 24, 2018

It’s been said, “In school, we are given the lesson and then the test. In life, we are given the test, then the lesson.”

With fifty knocking at my door next year, how many more lessons am I going to need before I get my degree in Life Management? Surely, I’m destined for a doctorate in this field of study.

It’s appalling to us normal, non-pedosexual humans when we see another sick fuck taking advantage of children. Nassar, Fogle and Weinstein all come to mind right now as they are in the news daily.  Even though it’s a tad quiet in Jared Fogle’s prison cell, I’m sure he’s still pulling out those splinters from the encounter with that broom. Just waiting for the squirmy, speckled wearing Dr. Nassar to meet his new friends in prison. Splinters will be the least of his problems. More headlines to come on him. Can’t wait!

But enough of people we see in the news who are so removed from our everyday lives. Sure, they cause deep emotional reactions in us when we see them on TV or we get an alert on our cell phone detailing to us yet another victim coming forward because of their malicious acts. I just hope we don’t become immune to the barrage of stories thrown at us each and every day about the cowardly acts of how upstanding and powerful people have destroyed yet another innocent victim.

Luckily, most of us won’t ever experience this vile kind of victimization. Yet, sadly, many of us have. Statistics tell us one in three women will become the victim of sexual assault in their lifetime. Between me and my two daughters, I’ve got that number covered so with any luck, they will never be the victim of sexual assault. Besides, if anyone ever touched my daughters, I’d personally shove his thang down his throat—piece by piece. Don’t even tempt me. I still have enough anger from forty years ago to do that and I would love the opportunity but not at the expense of my daughters so let’s please not tempt me.

However, what happens when we become the victim of financial rape? We feel violated, angry and hurt. But what happens when we are the victim of that financial rape from someone we know, love but most importantly, trust? That takes this treacherous act to a whole new level. Not only do we feel violated, angry, and hurt, but the betrayal is beyond comprehension. Not to mention plain 'ole sadness.

When I was sexually assaulted as a child, I realized that I could never trust anyone. What a dismal reality that is. Never mind the daddy issues I have because of the abuse, it’s the trust that challenges me every fucking day. Forty years later and I’m still taking it up the ass from people who are supposed to love and support me. The everlasting scars of sexual rape affect so many of your emotional decisions whether you want them to or not, but financial rape leaves just as big a scar, especially from a dear friend--one of whom I had grown to trust. Trust is NOT like Halloween candy. I'm not giving it away to everyone who comes to my door. It takes months if not years for me to build trust with another person, but when I do, you can expect a fiercely loyal friend; however, when you fuck me over with your lies and deceit, you have fucked with the wrong woman.

How did you sit across my table at my home, eat the Thanksgiving AND Christmas meals I spent hours preparing, smile at me, compliment me, knowing full well you have fucked the one woman whom you claim to be the family you never had? Not only have you stolen from me, but you have stolen from my children. Now, you've crossed the line.  If you think the half ass apology you gave me for this horrific act of betrayal is acceptable, you are dead wrong. You have had plenty of opportunities to tell me what you did. Let's face it, you only apologized because you got caught. How can I, or anyone, for that matter, believe anything that ever comes out of your mouth? After doing my due diligence, I have come to find out I'm not your first victim. Because of your looks, you've always managed to get some fool of a man to cover your ass and pay for all the other things you have stolen from both businesses and friends just to avoid jail time. I've got news for you, honey. Your looks will fade and you will be nothing short of an empty shell of a woman. Tell your recent lover, thanks for the offer of the payoff but no thanks.

Let me be VERY CLEAR, you paying us back will IN NO WAY make this right, and you are a delusional fool to think otherwise.

My question is, how do we prevent this from happening? As each friend whom we adore and trust sits at our dinner table, do we ask them, "Hey, you haven't financially raped me, have you?" Surely, there has to be a more civil way to ask that question. But why would you? You assume anyone you invite into your home has your best interests at heart, ESPECIALLY, after you have shared with them just how fucking difficult it is to trust people after enduring sexual abuse as a child. I may be over the abuse that happened to me so many decades ago, but I will always have my wall up. The taller the wall, the deep the abyss.

It’s already difficult enough to trust people. Thanks for the life lesson I was just begging to have this week.

Here’s a big thank you to all the assholes who have crossed my path in this life. I want to thank you for making me the strong woman I am.

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